Now we play the waiting game

Finally… my travel beard has gotten past the awkward itchy quasi-pubescent period and is starting to flirt with the long dreamt of length best describe as pedophilic-light.  Just in time too because look what I stumbled upon in a sleepy West Texas town (see picture #1).  Looks like somebody is extending their visit to Marfa through Wednesday!

Speaking of pedophilia in Marfa TX, check out picture #2.  I started brainstorming the reasons why someone would weld steel plates in place of the windows on their white van.  Each feasible explanation is more disturbing than the last.  This proud member of the lone star state is either preparing for the zombie apocalypses, another Texas secession, a child-tickling rampage that Pee Wee Herman would condemn, or some horrific sexually violent potpourri of the three.

West Texas is a strange place.  Thank god I totally blend in riding around town on my single speed bike wearing thrift store sear sucker shorts, pink shoes, thrift store shirt one size too small, thrift store retro shades (fashion is cyclical bitches), and a free hipster haircut I just got in a bathroom in Austin (DISCLAIMER: the bathroom trim did not involve sexual payment of any form whatsoever. However, if anything did go down “bathroom trim” would be a great double entendre).

This blog post has been particularly uncomfortable, but not half as uncomfortable as the Google searches I did to support it.

Clearing my history immediately,

James

I apologize to everyone for this joke

I apologize to everyone for this joke

Would it be worse if the fan was filled with ammunition or candy?

Would it be worse if the fan was filled with ammunition or candy?

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